From The Magic Video Game 4: The Upbringing of a New Comedian
Levi Cranston and his girlfriend, Mackenzie Burbanks, lay on the grass and stared at the sky. They didn't really want to talk right now. Instead, they just wanted to enjoy their time together. Mackenzie took her right hand and put it on Levi's chest, so that she could feel his heart beating and his breathing. This was quite relaxing for Mackenzie, and this was definitely relaxing for Levi. She was enjoying feeling her boyfriend's chest pulsing against her hand, and he was enjoying his girlfriend's presence. A few minutes later, Levi took his left hand and put it over Mackenzie's hand, so they could both feel his heartbeat.
Levi was thinking long and hard about something that has been on his mind for a while. However, he was trying very hard to push it out if his mind. Even though this might have been the case, he felt as if he needed to get it off his chest.
"Hey, Mackenzie?" Levi got his girlfriend's attention. It took her a little while to get out of "the zone" because she was in it for so long.
"Yes?" Mackenzie asked, a few seconds later.
"Have you ever thought about actually getting married?"
"Not really. Have you, Levi? Be honest."
"To be honest, not at all," Levi remarked, and Mackenzie could feel Levi's pulse speeding up.
"I think we are on the same page," Mackenzie semi-joked.
"I honestly just don't see the point in it. My mom is encouraging us to get married someday. My dad doesn't care. And I don't see how it's worth it."
"I totally agree."
"And, besides, I think I'm already married to you."
"You stole my heart, Levi."
"No. You stole my heart."
It was a beautiful day in West Palm Beach, Florida. The people were shopping. The people were playing. The people were wreaking havoc with each other's hilarious putty. The people were buying vanilla ice cream to cool off, since it was late July. Nothing could have been any better.
There lived a valiant man whose name was Todysseus. Todysseus was known as Toad to most people. He spoke with a dominant Southern accent and could easily excel at the trumpet, for he was a member of the local jazz ensemble. Toad was a good man. He was saved when he was baptized.
The Fateful Day
On July 30th, something happened that no one could expect. The wind grew stronger by the minute. Raindrops kept falling on people's heads. Those same raindrops came down harder and harder. They knocked out many of the people's goofy putty in the city. Buffoonish putty spurted everywhere because of the hard raindrops. West Palm Beach was already a mess.
Toad viewed the mess as he and his sidekick, Froggidelius, roamed the sticky streets.
"Nothing could get worse than this," Toad said to himself.
"I concur," Froggidelius replied.
Ironically, the situation got much worse. The hard raindrops were not enough. The next day, there was a huge tide that came from the Atlantic Ocean with the hard raindrops. The Huge Wind of Patrice blew over the sticky city and made it even stickier. Buildings were covered in outlandish putty. Business people ran out of their buildings yelling for help. Many people were either sticky, wet, or all of the above.
The Plan of Action
It was a true hurricane. The city was flooded, as well as buildings, homes, and ice cream parlors being damaged due to the wacky putty. Toad and Froggy, as most people called them, scratched their heads in contemplation. They both drew thousands and thousands of sketches of ways to save the beloved West Palm Beach.
The 1,117th sketch was the perfect sketch that Toad himself drew. The plan was to save up trillions of cans of baked beans and throw them at Patrice, the villain. The simple diversion was just to use the trillions of cans of baked beans, a massive slingshot, and to be sure that they were both safe.
Patrice was in her lair below the undercurrent of the Atlantic Ocean. She chuckled, cackled, clucked, gloated, and laughed at all the evil she inflicted upon the people of West Palm Beach.
"I am evil! I am so nasty! Ha ha ha!" she laughed to herself before she could pull one of her strings. "Now....all I have to do is defeat Todysseus, and West Palm Beach is mine!"
She started her obnoxious bout of laughter once again.
Now Patrice hated baked beans. That was the whole point of Toad's diversion. Baked beans made her very gassy. If she even smelled a baked bean, society was sure to at least hear her live performance of her favorite tunes. Then, afterwards, everyone would applaud. This "everyone" referred to her evil cronies.
Another Fateful Day
Today was the day. Today was the fateful day. Today was the day that Toad and Froggy were going to at least attempt to defeat Patrice. They had their Greek armour on, their trillions of cans of baked beans in hand, and their gigantic slingshot, trademarked by ACNE.
Toad and Froggy approached the entrance to Patrice's lair, and Toad yelled at the top of his lungs, "COME OUT OF YOUR LAIR AND FIGHT!"
Patrice did just that. She tried to throw spurts of water at both Toad's and Froggy's faces. The two good men threw baked beans at Patrice. Patrice grew sillier and sillier by the minute. There was a brief music performance.
The fighting continued for forty days and forty nights, with no one getting exhausted. Toad and Froggy were wetter and wetter. Patrice was sillier and sillier. She still threw the spurts of water at Toad and Froggy, who, in return, continued to throw baked beans at Patrice. For the first time in forty days and forty nights, the words came out of Patrice's mouth.
"Surrender or eat pie."
Toad and Froggy looked at each other and simultaneously said, "We don't feel like eating pie."
Patrice said furiously, "Then, surrender."
Toad and Froggy shrugged their shoulders and ate the rest of the baked beans in misery. West Palm Beach was destroyed until some really good people helped reconstruct it. Meanwhile, Toad and Froggy moved to Wyoming, where the least amount of people resided.
Moral of the Story
Baked beans are used for nutrition, not music.
Goes really well with coffee.
Even the chocolate.
Very very decadent.
I will eat, like, four.
The grilled pineapple.
A staple in Hawaii.
A cookout party.
Kitty on my lap.
Helpless furball, so it seems.
Taking a shower.
Mind goes everywhere.
North and south and east and west.
Very happy mind.
Can't believe the weather's nice.
Kitten paws are cute.
Jeremy Kerplunk and Johnny Dinglebom, two very goofy Bobinos, decided to go to the nearest fast food joint because they were both very hungry.
At the drive-thru….
“Thank you for choosing this store. How may I help you today?” a voice said through the machine.
“I would like a hamburger, with no ham,” Jeremy said.
“A hamburger does not have ham on it.”
“Ham-burger. There has to be ham on it.”
“It is called a hamburger because it is called a hamburger.”
“I would like two hamburger meals, if you insist that there’s no ham on the hamburgers.”
“I’m sure there is no ham on the hamburgers.”
Jeremy Kerplunk and Johnny Dinglebom
From Rockybado: Robot King of the Island
While Rockybado was originally planning on getting Chinese take-out, he saw a car, and Toby Ingram was screaming for him. Rockybado quickly entered his spaceship and took off. The Chinese take-out order had to be cancelled, but Rockybado was not complaining.
"My friends are in trouble. Sparkle, get Sassio, and dress up like policemen. Do it, and do it quickly!" Rockybado warned.
Sparkle, a fairy who is Rockybado's assistant, called for Sassio, who is a frog and also Rockybado's assistant. They hurried and followed the car. Business had to be taken care of, and taken care of quickly.
Susan and Claude McSmith, the two evil villains, didn't realize that they had a spaceship following right behind them. They were frightened for a moment, and then they retreated to an insecure feeling of happiness and oblivion. The boys were starting to get seasick.
Or carsick, which would probably be more appropriate in this case.
"Can you please go a little slower? We're getting carsick," Andrew McCalsky spoke semi-softly.
"It is perfect just the way it is," Susan said.
To her husband, she asked, "Right, Claude?"
"Right," Claude said.
The speed limit said 55 miles per hour, but the car went 86 miles per hour. The married couple shared glasses of wine together when they rode in the car.
"SUSAN! CLAUDE!" David shouted. "YOU SHOULD HAVE YOUR SEATBELTS ON!"
The car hit another car. Smoke rose from all the mess. The boys were feeling sick to their stomachs because of the speed the car was going at that time. Rockybado followed the car up to the accident.
"Hey, bolognahead! I hope you didn’t get hurt!" an old lady yelled at the other car.
She got out of her car and literally jumped up and down quickly due to reasonable fury. Susan opened her mouth but didn't say anything, and Claude snarled. The little old lady took a '90's phone out of her purse. Rockybado called after her.
"You don't need to call the police. I have some certified policemen right here," Rockybado stated.
Sassio was dressed up as a chicken, and Sparkle was dressed up as a hula dancer.
"NO!" Rockybado screamed. "NOT LIKE THAT! I SAID POLICE OUTFITS, NOT CRAZY OUTFITS! GO BACK AND CHANGE!"
Sparkle and Sassio went back into the spaceship to change outfits. Now, Sparkle dressed up as a cow, and Sassio dressed up as a pig. Rockybado sighed.
"Darn it! Go change again! You only have one chance left, or I'm calling the police!"
Sparkle and Sassio changed again. Sparkle was dressed up as a ballerina, and Sassio was dressed up as a cat.
"I WILL HAVE TO CALL THE POLICE BECAUSE YOU ARE OBVIOUSLY NO HELP!"
Rockybado called the police, and the police arrived in a matter of minutes. As soon as they stopped, they jumped out of the police car and approached Susan and Claude.
"Names?" the policeman asked them.
"Gee," Claude answered. "We don't know everybody's names."
"Not their names! Your names!" the policeman snapped.
"Oh! Susan and Claude McSmith," Susan sneered.
"Ages?" the policeman asked.
"Well, we don't know everybody’s ages," the McSmith’s replied.
"Not their ages! Your ages!" the policeman said gruffly.
"Oh my! Susan is forty-two," said Claude. "And I'm six years older. So, forty-two plus six equals forty-eight. See? I'm good at math."
"Enough with the small talk," the policeman said, annoyed. "Occupations?"
"Well," said Susan, "You never know what everybody's occupations will be."
"Don't play stupid with me. Not their occupations. Your occupations." said the police.
"Oh!" gasped Susan. "My occupation is a travel agent, and Claude is a real estate agent."
"Thank you. I'm now going to see the boys," said the policeman.
He asked them their names, ages, and hometown. Afterwards, he let out an unintended smile. What exactly did this mean? What did his plans entail? What was he going to say to everyone, once he made his decision on the whole situation? Things were about to turn against the favors of the McSmith’s.
"Well, boys, Rockybado, Miss Dyer, you are free to go. And as for you, Susan and Claude McSmith, you're coming with me."
Today is Monday.
A.K.A. Haiku Monday.
A wonderful day.
Nicely stashed in a sandwich.
With the tomatoes.
And the pesto sauce.
Oh! Let's just not forget that!
And the grilled chicken.
Pair with a nice tea.
Or with a red or white wine.
Whatever you choose.
In my eyes, I saw that flag.
I wanna go there.
Eat all the pizza.
And the mostaccioli, brah.
I'm in Food Heaven.
Please, just excuse me.
I am having a great time,
In the Food Heaven.
Happy Easter, everyone! To those of you who don't celebrate, Happy Mysterious Candy Hunting Day!
Lol I had to do that. Regardless, there is so much chocolate and candy out there right now that we could all scream for ice cream. Is that right, errbody?
Good news. I will try my hardest to get Rockybado 4, The Jazzy Island of Dinosaurs 4, and The Magic Video Game 4 done by Wednesday March 30th. If not by then, then I will probably get them published and out on Amazon Kindle next weekend.
I've said that before.
Now, I am going to talk to you about how David Ingram (Rockybado), Andrew Grzedek (The Jazzy Island of Dinosaurs), and Levi Cranston (The Magic Video Game) celebrate Easter. For the sake of time, I will save my discussion on how Bradley Levi (Where's Bradley?) celebrates Easter for another time.
David Ingram (Rockybado) comes from a small family. His family usually goes to church only on Easter and Christmas Eve. However, David has been more interested in learning about church through the influence of his now fiancee, Olivia Flavenshevich. His mom has also helped him find his faith. David celebrates Easter with Olivia's family on the Saturday before Easter. Then, he celebrates Easter with his immediate family, aunts and uncles, cousins, and grandparents. They have a potluck dinner in the evening. The immediate family makes mostaccioli after church, and when they get home, they get ready for the potluck dinner. Their extended family often stays over at the Ingram's house until 1 or 2 o'clock in the morning. Even though they all have to go about their daily routine the next morning, they all have a great time.
Andrew Grzedek (The Jazzy Island of Dinosaurs) comes from a large family. His family celebrates Holy Week with their extended family. This includes Maundy Thursday, Good Friday, Holy Saturday, and Easter. The Grzedek's and their relatives are Catholic but are not too strict in their practices. Every evening after each mass, the family will go to a relative's house for dinner. It alternates every day. However, the Grzedek's usually have Easter celebrated at their house in St. John. The family has a potluck dinner as well. However, most of the food that they have is Polish. This is because the kids' dad's side of the family is 100% Polish, and their mom's side of the family is half Polish.
Levi Cranston (The Magic Video Game) comes from a medium-sized family. Even though their family does not celebrate Easter, they like to get candy and have a nice dinner with relatives from around the area. The kids' mom's side of the family is Jewish. However, their dad's side of the family is Methodist. Neither side of the family is very strict in their religion. Levi has an Easter lunch with his girlfriend, Mackenzie Burbanks, and her family. The kids' parents have Easter baskets full of candy, but that is the extent of their celebration. In the break between having lunch with his girlfriend and her family and dinner with his family and close relatives, Levi hangs out with one of his best friends, Asad Prejesh, because he too does not celebrate Easter. They usually play video games, but when the weather is nice, they might walk around Asad's neighborhood and talk about the most recent video games. Levi's grandparents, some aunts and uncles, and some cousins come over for a potluck dinner in the evening.
Ladies and gentlemen, this is how each person celebrates Easter.
However you celebrate this day, make sure it is great, and see you tomorrow!
You Know Who
Hi everyone! Happy Thursday!
Today is a day of happiness. Today is a day of surprises. Today is a day of sun and fun, or the other way around. Today is....
Oh wow. I'm starting to sound a little poetic here, aren't I?
Well, nevertheless, today is also a day where I can give you a few more fun facts about some people from the Rockybado series, so here we go!
* Brody Ingram's (Rockybado) new job offer came as a surprise. It was a software engineering position that he had interviewed for a while ago, and he didn't think he got it.
* He and his girlfriend, Julia Jaconetti, are in the process of moving to San Francisco, California, where Brody's new job is.
* They are staying with a friend of Brody's cousin, until David, Brody's older brother, Andrew McCalsky, Adam Levistad, and Olivia Flavenshevich move to San Francisco in the summer.
* David, Olivia, and Andrew are looking to go to grad school in San Francisco in the fall. They also want to make sure they have jobs while they're studying.
* Toby, David and Brody's younger brother, wants to move to San Francisco after he finishes up his undergrad in Chicago.
* Adam is going to grad school in Chicago and will be living with some friends there. After he graduates with his Master's, his plan is to move to San Francisco to be with everyone else.
* Brett, the second oldest of the Ingram's, is still living in Chicago with his friends. They are very active in their band, The Hawaiian Geeks.
* Dawson, the oldest of the Ingram's, is still in Northwest Indiana. He and his wife, Daniela, have good jobs and are planning to visit San Francisco whenever they can.
* David and Brody still want to keep the Chicago basketball game tradition going with their dad and Uncle Alan, so they plan to take a week or two out of their busy schedule and return to their hometown, Crown Point, Indiana, for a while.
* Every other weekend, Toby and Brett will hang out in Chicago.
* Kellie Wickes, the youngest of the Ingram's cousins, is now in Long Island, New York for graduate school.
Well, my friends, that is it for now! Stay tuned for something this weekend, whether that might be a few more fun facts, a little excerpt, an excerpt from a writing project, or even a goofy haiku.
Whatever it is, I'm sure you'll love it.
Happy Thursday, and see you some time this weekend!
B. Levi (aka You Know Who)
It is just Monday.
Five day week has just started.
Is it Friday yet?
It's time to dream on.
Wishful thinking is allowed.
Only four more days.
Please enjoy the week.
You can still do lots of things,
On Haiku Monday.
Also on Tuesday,
Lots and lots of free tacos.
It's Taco Tuesday.
Also on Wednesday.
It's the middle of the week.
It is that one day.
Also on Thursday,
It's the best day of the week.
Whoops. That's a typo.
Also on Friday.
Thank the Good Man that's the day.
I really like it.
The whole weekend, though.
Saturday and Sunday will
Always gontoo fast.
Repeat to Monday.
Where coffee is much needed.
A beautiful day.
From Rockybado 2: A Run in the Game
Brody Ingram and Andrew McCalsky said nothing else. They did their stretches for about five minutes in the driveway of Brody’s house. And they were a little too focused on what they were going to do instead of thinking about what happened to Brett. Right now, it wasn’t really all that important.
After a few more minutes’ worth of stretches, lunges, push-ups, and all the whatnot, including taking a few puffs on their inhalers, the two boys were off. And they were probably not going to be home for another thirty minutes or so. Actually, maybe closer to an hour. This gave Brody’s mom enough time to order Chinese food and pick it up.
The first few minutes of the boys’ run started off normally. The two boys did not say a word to each other for another couple minutes into the run. Once Brody and Andrew left Garfield Court, and headed toward Hayes Street, they noticed that things were still normal. And then, Brody broke the silence.
“We’re closing in on your house!” Brody exclaimed.
“I know!” Andrew replied with almost as much excitement.
“Is David home?”
“I don’t think so. I actually think he went bowling with his friends.”
“Dawson and Brett already went bowling.”
“Oh yeah. About Brett?”
“What about Brett?”
Great. Brett was on their minds again. Brody knew exactly what happened when Brett was at the bowling alley. Andrew, however, had an idea of what was going on. Even though that was the case, the two boys chose to not think about it. They decided to enjoy the run.
The next five minutes were still quite normal. Brody and Andrew did not say anything else to each other. Instead, the two boys decided to look at all of the scenery around them, such as the houses, the flowers, the somewhat uneven pavement on which they were running. All of that.
And things were the same as always. There were some people playing outside. There were some people walking around the neighborhood. There were some people running around the neighborhood, like Brody and Andrew. There were some people driving around. There were even some people getting into or out of the car.
Depended on the household.
“How long have we been out?” Andrew questioned his best friend.
“I think about fifteen minutes,” Brody replied.
“Oh. So we are halfway into our run.”
“I guess so. We could possibly go for an hour.”
“Maybe. It depends on if Mrs. Ingram is home.”
And then things grew a little fishy. There were some people playing outside. There were some people walking around the neighborhood. There were some people running around the neighborhood, like Brody and Andrew. There were some people driving around. There were even some people getting into or out of the car. However, there were also some people who were acting a bit questionable tonight.
At one house….
“DANNY, IT SMELLS LIKE TUNA OUT HERE!” A neighbor shouted at the top of her lungs.
Brody and Andrew looked at each other and then shared a laugh. Why would anyone think that it smelled like tuna outside? At least the two boys didn’t think that this was the case. On the other hand, if the outdoors really smelled like anything other than the nice summer air, then many people would probably hope that it smelled like bacon. But tuna?
“That was weird,” Brody said matter-of-factly.
“I know,” Andrew replied.
“Do you think it smells like tuna outside?”
“No. Do you?”
“No, I don’t.”
“Then, why do you believe they think that?” Andrew questioned his best friend.
“From what I understand, they are quite a weird bunch,” Brody replied.
“I think I will have to agree.”
End of conversation. Brody and Andrew kept on running. Mindless of everything going on around them. They basically forgot about the neighbor who complained that it smelled like tuna outside. However, they still remembered the story about Brett. Or, at least, Brody still thought deeply about it. But Andrew still didn’t think so deeply about it.
Another two minutes passed, and then Brody and Andrew came across a young man, probably around Dawson’s age, dancing on the lawn in his pickle boxers. And he had headphones in his ears. So, he was probably listening to good R & B music while dancing in his boxers.
Brody and Andrew ran past him. And the young man did not appear to be phased. He was just dancing in his pickle boxers with his headphones on. Even though many girls would probably think that was the most repulsive thing they have ever seen, many boys, such as Brody and Andrew, would think it was pretty funny.
“Who is he?” Brody asked.
“I don’t know. He appears to be of some mischief.”
“He obviously appears to be of some comical mischief.”
“But I still thought that was pretty funny.”
“I did, too.”
“Seriously, you don’t always come across a guy dancing on his lawn in his boxers,” Brody said.
“I do,” Andrew joked.
“I dance on my lawn in my boxers.”
“I didn’t think you did.”
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