An Excerpt from a Writing Project

From The Somewhat Perilous Plot of the Patriotic Mosquitoes

Some of the Patriotic Mosquitoes were sitting inside the conference room. They wanted to hold a meeting there to discuss any further plans that they might have had to take over the three supposedly fictitious islands. Taking over Texamilio, Galavanti Island, and Wakahakai would definitely take a lot of work on their end for sure.

Johnny Morthland, also known as Sam, the leader, tried to wait patiently for his other friends or henchmen. Whatever he was in the mood to call them.

While the other Patriotic Mosquitoes filed into the conference room one by one, they could clearly hear the sound of Sam's hands tapping the table rather loudly.

With a glass table like the one that they have in the conference room, one would assume that the sound would cause the whole earth to explode. And that would most definitely not be the most fun to see on a Saturday night.

As pretty much all of the Patriotic Mosquitoes entered the conference room, Sam stared at all of them in disgust.

He wanted to start the meeting on the right foot, as many would say. But that was apparently not happening today for them. He adjusted his hat and cleared his throat.

“Ahem,” Sam cleared his throat.
“Hi Sam!” Lisa, one of the female Patriotic Mosquitoes exclaimed.
“Quiet, Lisa. Today, we have a very important meeting regarding our plan to take over Texamilio, Galavanti Island, and Buffoon Land.”
“Don't you mean Wakahakai?” Josh, another Patriotic Mosquito asked.
“No, Josh. I mean Buffoon Land. Land of the Buffoons,” Sam replied.
“Oh!”
“Who has any memory of the pledge of the Patriotic Mosquitoes?”
“Um….”
“Sounds about right.”
“Um….”

With the exception to Sam, the other Patriotic Mosquitoes have already been too incompetent. What was the rest of the meeting going to be like? How was it going to turn out? Sam was very curious to find out.

The Patriotic Mosquitoes stood up for their own pledge. They took their hats and flipped them upside down on their heads, and they let all of their arms rest at their sides. Then, they stood on their tip toes and read some words from an overhead projector, since they couldn't remember their own pledge.

“I am a Patriotic Mosquito. I do the duties as a Patriotic Mosquito. I cook food like a Patriotic Mosquito. I really like spaghetti. Except when it doesn't have garlic on it. I like garlic as a Patriotic Mosquito. Garlic is food for the mind. And Patriotic Mosquitoes have good minds. Except for when they draw on the walls. Then that is not the way of the Patriotic Mosquito.”

Then they sat down.

Sam looked around the room. He was not too happy with what he saw. The other Patriotic Mosquitoes were conversing about their next lasagna baking party while Sam tried to stare them down.

The leader stared down Lisa, who was basically the center of attention. She was the one who decided to organize such a party. And, of course, it was going to take a lot of time to plan it. She and Josh were considered the Co-Events Coordinators of the Patriotic Mosquitoes. And Sam never seemed to really care for any of their ideas for events.

“Shall we begin?” Sam broke the chit chat of his fellow friends or henchmen.
“Breaking news! Josh and I have finally come up with the idea of a lasagna baking party!” Lisa exclaimed.
“Lisa, what does a lasagna baking party, of all things, have to do with our current plan?”
“I thought of that as an idea for after we take over the islands.”
“You're thinking way too far ahead,” Sam remarked.
“How about we do both at the same time?” Lisa asked.
“Absolutely not.”
“Well….”
“Shall we begin?”
“I guess so.”

Lisa sat back in her chair and pouted. She was not happy about her lasagna baking party being canceled. And, for that matter, so was Josh. Not really that their lasagna baking party would be canceled, per se. Their party might have to be called off until further notice.

Of course, Sam had absolutely no problem with that.

The other Patriotic Mosquitoes sat back in their chairs and stared at Sam. As if they were really expecting something from him. They waited to see if he was going to say anything else about his ideas of taking over Texamilio, Galavanti Island, and Wakahakai.

Sam knew it would take a little while to get them to pay attention.

“So, do any of you fellow Patriotic Mosquitoes have any ideas on how to take over those three islands?” Sam asked.
“I suggested that we have a lasagna baking party, but you said no,” Lisa said.
“Of course I said no.”
“How about we just suggest that they sell fajitas?”
“Carry on. I'm starting to like that idea,” Sam said.
“So, if those three islands sell just fajitas in their local restaurants, then we can take over the ownership of all those restaurants and combine them all together,” Lisa remarked.
“That's a bit lofty, but I like the idea.”
“Maybe we could branch off between fajitas and mostaccioli and have two combined restaurant chains compete against each other?”
“I don't know where you're going with that. Where does the idea of having a mostaccioli restaurant chain fit in to this picture?”
“Just thought about it.”

Sam wrote down, on a large sheet of college ruled paper, the idea that Lisa seemed to have on her mind. This was actually not a bad idea.

But how would they find out what the restaurant policies and regulations are on each island?

And how would they be able to take ownership of all the Italian and Mexican restaurants in all three islands?

Good question.

The other Patriotic Mosquitoes conversed amongst themselves for a few more minutes while Sam was trying to make sense of Lisa's idea, even though he liked it. Sam would most definitely want to hear his other comrades' ideas, as long as they weren't absolutely ridiculous. Of course, that would be a bit of a challenge for him to find out which ones he actually liked.

A few more minutes later, the Patriotic Mosquitoes were conversing about the potential lasagna baking party that Lisa had planned. She knew she still wanted to have it. Even if it meant that they couldn't plan such an event while they were also planning to take over Texamilio, Galavanti Island, and Wakahakai.

With a pound of the gavel on the oak podium, Sam got everyone else’s attention. He was hoping that the remainder of this meeting would be a little more serious. If that was actually going to happen. There was one idea in the works already. And then it would be nice if there could be at least one or two more ideas coming their way.

Then the Patriotic Mosquitoes would have a better chance of taking over the islands.
Sam waited patiently for the other Patriotic Mosquitoes to cease their conversations. He assumed that all of the Patriotic Mosquitoes would like to get out as quickly as possible so he wanted to also get out as soon as possible.

“Any other ideas?” Sam questioned his fellow Patriotic Mosquitoes.
“I has an idea!” Tony shouted in a great Italian accent.
“What might be your idea, Tony?”
“We should either incorporate our Pledge of the Patriotic Mosquitoes to all of the islands, or we should incorporate that one Italian song that I really like. I don't remember the name of it, though.”
“Can you tell us how it goes?” Sam questioned.
“Well, I know it involves a baritone sax and a tambourine, and the words are in Italian,” Tony replied, still in a spot-on Italian accent.
“Very well. I like that idea, too.”
“Thank you.”
“However, I think the Pledge would suit us better, as it considers all of us as one.”
“Drat.”

Sam wrote that other idea down on the same sheet of paper. Lisa, of course, was talking very loudly about her lasagna baking party. She was hoping to have this party, as well as a wine tasting to go along with it. Since her favorite wine is pinot grigio. Like everyone else who is a Patriotic Mosquito.

Five minutes later, Sam pounded his gavel on the podium, hoping to get everyone’s attention. It looked like there were only a select few choices of how to take over Texamilio, Galavanti Island, and Wakahakai.

“Well, out of all of us, I only have two ideas on how to take over the islands. We need to decide on one, and we need to decide on one soon,” Sam remarked.
“You all should like mine!” Lisa exclaimed.
“Let's give everyone a say, Lisa.”
“Alright! But I want everyone to know that mine is super amazing!”
“Okay, Lisa,” Sam said, now starting to get very annoyed.
“But, but….” Lisa began.
“I like the idea, Lisa, but I don't want to just say whose idea is the best one until we all reach an overall consensus.”
“But, but….”
“No buts about it.”
“But, but….”

All of the Patriotic Mosquitoes were given a sheet of paper and a pen to vote on their favorite idea. Instead of coming up with an agreed consensus, they ended up conversing about the lasagna baking party.

Once again.

Sam was getting fed up with the other Patriotic Mosquitoes. He could imagine smoke flying out of his head; he was that frustrated. And his face would turn red, and his head would get so big with the frustration that his hat would jump off his head and turn upside down.

Five minutes later, due to hearing Lisa talk more about her proposed party….

​“Well, since you all seem to be really excited about plotting to take over the three islands, I have made the overall decision. And you will have to deal with what I decide that we do,” Sam announced, after all but five minutes of him not talking at all.
“But, but….” Lisa began.
“So, I decided that we should….”
“But, but….”
“So, with all of these factors coming into play, I decided that we should….” Sam began.
“But, but...” Lisa interrupted.
“Lisa, that is very rude.”
“But, but….”
“So, with all of these factors in mind, I have decided that we should incorporate our Pledge of the Patriotic Mosquitoes for the three islands. And there is absolutely nothing you can do to change my mind at this point.”
“But, but….”